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The cookie that bit back (10/18/04)
I have a somewhat odd family. Not many people have an exorcist in the recent family tree, after all. So perhaps it shouldn't have been surprising when one of the siblings, while visiting our dear conservative mother, happened to bring a small baggie containing two extremely potent marijuana cookies with; a gift from an equally eccentric friend. Nor perhaps should I have been surprised when 'D' decided to leave the pot cookies in mom's freezer while D went out visiting friends. And, given such a perfect setup, it's not surprising that dear old conservative mom went in search of a snack while D was out, and was pleasantly surprised to find two homemade cookies in her freezer.
'Should I eat them?' she asked herself, seeing D's name written on the baggie. 'Well...' she reasoned, 'D did eat that last oatmeal cookie that was supposed to be for me.'
And so the stage was set. Mom, who's idea of wild excess was half a glass of wine, got stoned. Not just a little stoned, either. Semi-comatose stoned. Spontaneous outbursts of giddy laughter stoned. "Didn't you think something was wrong?" I asked when I heard about the incident. 'Not for a long time', she said, 'but then I was watching the news, and somebody called for a round of applause in support of Bill Clinton during his recovery from heart surgery.'
At which point, sober witnesses report, mom began to applaud enthusiastically, crying out 'clap! Clap so Tinkerbell will live!'
Apparently the moral of the story is that Walt Disney productions lead to irrational behavior.
Other than eating most of a large pack of Oreos, she seems remarkably undisturbed by the whole incident. The very next day, she bought some hemp-oil skin lotion for the first time in her life, which she swears is a coincidence.
(A number of people have asked if this story is true. Much to my amazement, yes...yes it is!) -Nathan